Gentlemen, welcome to the exclusive, invitation-only club where the finest of the upper class come to escape the long arm of the law. That's right, we are talking about the Fugitive Gentlemen's Club, a social club for those gentlemen who, for one reason or another, have found themselves on the run.
But just because they are on the lam, doesn't mean they have to sacrifice their love of luxury and style. After all, one cannot simply live like a common criminal, now can one? This is where the Fugitive Gentlemen's Club comes in, providing the perfect moveable hideout for these refined fugitives.
Unlike other gentlemen's clubs, the precise location of the Fugitive Gentlemen's Club is constantly changing, on account of the gentlemen in question being fugitives. The closely guarded secret is revealed, week to week, by a means that is unknowable to outsiders, but which could involve encrypted text messages and secret handshakes.
No matter the club's location, as soon as you step inside, you are transported to a world of sophistication and elegance. The clink of cups and the soft murmur of conversation fills the air as members gather for a spot of afternoon tea. And what better way to accompany your tea than with a game of snooker? The club's resident billiards expert is always on hand to offer a friendly challenge, and explosive snooker balls are available for takeaway.
If snooker isn't your cup of tea (pun intended), the club also boasts a fully stocked bar where the resident mixologist will whip up the perfect cocktail for you. Whether it's a classic martini, or a more adventurous creation poured from a thermos in the heart of a thick wood that is utterly impenetrable by satellite surveillance, you're sure to find something to your taste.
Of course, no gentleman's club would be complete without the opportunity for some good old-fashioned hobnobbing. Rub patched elbows with Britain's most notorious gentlemen fugitives as you discuss the breaking financial news, or simply sit back and enjoy the company of your fellow members whilst exchanging pro tips regarding everything from biometric forgery to tax-free offshore accounts.
So, there you have it, folks. The Fugitive Gentlemen's Club, where being on the run has never been so genteel. But beware, membership is highly coveted and fiercely guarded. So if you find yourself in need of a posh safe house, be sure to bring your best manners and an unrivalled taste for fleeting luxury.
Whilst you're here, grab an official item from our Fugitive Gentlemen's Club collection, including stainless steel water bottles, AirPods and AirPods Pro cases, drawstring bags, t-shirts, hoodies and more.
Cheers,
Jolly & Goode
